I recently encountered a situation that fully revealed my male privilege in the midst of a South African society dominated by patriarchal structure. The whole incident left me feeling disconsolate, puzzled, and embarassed.
I had entered into the men’s toilet area of a shopping centre in my area. The time of day was late morning, and the lavatory was occupied by only two people; a male using the urinal, and a cleaner wiping the mirror and walls. This is what one might expect to find in any number of shopping centre toilet areas, yet this scene was unique in one key construction- the cleaner was a woman.
I was momentarily halted by this occurrence as a swathe of thoughts and emotions circulated in my being. What’s going on? Did the guy see that the cleaner is female? Should I ask her to leave? How does she feel about being here? I need to use the facilities, should I just use them as per normal even in her presence? These blitzed through my mind in a concoction of entanglement until I decided to follow my base instinctual drives and relieve myself, partially in her view but completely in her presence. After washing my hands and exiting the scene stayed rooted firmly in my conscious mind with added reflection and emotion.
What happened was clearly an emboldened violation of Women’s Rights. Currently in South Africa National Women’s Month (August) where Women’s Day (9th of August) is commemorated as an historic 40 year young event where women of all races marched to the Union Buildings to petition against our country’s pass document laws. Liberation from legislative discrimination is still slowly spreading into the realms of society where day-to-day interpersonal changes are most needed. Our treatment of women is still incredibly violent, and silencing.
Furthermore, the eerie ‘naturalness’ of the scene fortified a hegemonic structure that is quintessentially violent in it’s treatment of the female body. She quickly turned her head away when men entered the toilet, as we all remained silent to this interaction. It reminded me of how we silence mostly through our actions stronger than our words, and the act is so visceral that it can be felt in your body long after the initial event. The observations I made of my violent behaviour clearly displayed that at a change-effecting level, we (as men) are perhaps the most destructive beings that have inhabited the planet Earth. Aside from all the perversions of nature that we have enacted in the forms of weapons, chemicals, processed foods, and machinery, our brazen responses to obviously immoral situations is in need of further transformation.
I then delved into the sheer indignity of what was going on. The man who was there before I exited left without washing his hands while she cleaned urine residue from the surfaces. It seemed to mirror some aspects of the domestic situation where the Woman dutifully abides by cleaning up after her male partner, children, fathers, and brothers. We unacknowledge this by literally ‘pissing on’ her accomplishments, and going with the misguided expectation that we will always be cleaned after. This point is probably the most poignant considering where South Africa is currently located in contextual terms. Our President, accused of rape in 2006 admitted to having unprotected sex with Fezekile Kuzwayo (now known as Khwezi) who he knew to be HIV Positive but claimed that taking a shower immediately after sex reduced his risk of contracting the virus. The controversies surrounding the president’s phallus have been a source for wider debates, yet even with abstract interpretations one can deduce that the body of the female is the ultimate container for a man’s discharge; whether she consents or not. Supporters of Khwezi stood in Silent Protest as Zuma delivered his briefing at the closing of the IEC Conference on August 6th, glaringly unaware of what was happening in front of him (http://ewn.co.za/2016/08/06/Anti-rape-protesters-disrupt-Zumas-speech)
Picture: Thomas Holder EWN.
After being forceably ejected from the room, there was considerable backlash AGAINST the Silent Protesters from the African National Congress’s Women League. This would be surprising from all organisations, yet the Cadre’s of the Old Guard have declared themselves as ‘Zuma’s Women’, and have proudly declared to defend our President ‘with their buttocks’ http://www.sowetanlive.co.za/news/2014/09/15/we-will-defend-with-our-buttocks-mokonyane . Yet again we see that the female body is an objectified mean’s to patriarchy’s end, even in perversion of sexual intercourse, by the protection of the phallus in public spaces. Essentially, it is strikingly similar to the silencing of the female voice with the male phallus as done so violently in the toilet area I stepped into.
Bertrand Leopeng is a Counselling Psychologist, Training Psychoanalyst Provisional Candidate, and multipotentialite in Tshwane South Africa. He helped organise the Silent Protest 2015 at Wits University, and is interested in many diverse topics such as feminism, race, neuroplasticity, and mindfulness. https://bertrandleopengpsychology4all.wordpress.com/
tags- gender, violence, rape, South Africa,
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